I was sitting around my house the other day and I got that bloated, OMG my pants don’t fit, why am I sticky? feeling. You’d think that 20 years after hitting puberty, I’d know my body enough to know when things are about to happen, but I don’t. Then that thought took me to the realization that I hit puberty at the age of 11. Then that hit me between the eyes like a dart and I almost fell off of the couch when I realized that my eldest boy, The Nerd, is 11. Now, I know boys generally hit puberty later than girls, but he’s creepin’ on puberty. Creepin’, y’all.
That means 45 minute showers, parental locks on the computer, stiffening in places I don’t want to know about stiffening, voice changes, hair removal with sharp objects (dear God please help him), and stench.
I’m dreading it all, but I’m really worried about my baby growing hair and becoming a stinky man.
I’m a lucky, lucky wife because The Workaholic smells amazing. His natural smell is very mild, but he uses delicious soap, enticing deodorant, and a cologne that gets me all kinds of revved up. It’s so sexy.
Smell = Sexy.
When it’s a good smell, anyways.
I can still tell you the names of the young men who stunk in middle school. I’ll never forget walking in the gym for dance practice over at Marie Drake (you Juneauites know what I’m talking about) after the wrestlers and wanting to pass the flip out from the smell.
I’m gagging at the memory.
I don’t want my kid to be the stinky one. Or the one with the bad breath. But because he’s nearing puberty, I realize that I need to start worrying about this sooner rather than later, right?
So those of you with tweens, when do you introduce personal care products? I’m talkin’ body spray, deodorant, face washing, and *gasp* shaving?
I decided to go ahead and start now. I took The Nerd to Walmart and let him pick out his own personal care products.
Absolutely the most flashy products were the Axe products. The Nerd was cracking up laughing at the back of some of the products. He didn’t need to smell them or see a commercial, he thought the packaging was cool looking AND hilarious. I guess that’s all that matters to an 11 year old.
We bought shaving cream (more for novel purposes at this point in his young life), a cooling face lotion, face wash, an undercarriage buffer (also known as an Axe Detailer, 2-sided Shower Tool), and two little body sprays.
The Nerd shaved his head for St. Baldrick’s Day immediately following our shopping trip, then headed over to a friend’s house. He took his Axe stuff to show off, and the coolest thing happened.
He’s not a nerd anymore.
So in real life? The Nerd was kind of embarrassed to go to school on Monday because his naturally white, freshly shaved hair made him look bald as a Q-tip.
He came home from school that day and told me about how all his friends at school were rubbing his head telling him how soft it was. Even a GIRL, but not THE girl. Then today (Tuesday), he came home from school and said, “Hey mom! Are you going to ask me how my day was?”
Well, duh. I ask him every day.
“How was your day?”
“AWESOME! The girl I have a crush on asked to touch my head and I said YES!”
It wasn’t the hair. She didn’t ask yesterday.
He wore Axe and washed his face before he left for school today. It was totally the Axe.
Now the babes are falling all over themselves to touch his head. And sniff his pits.
When will you start teaching your Tween boy or girl good personal hygiene?
- I am a member of the Collective Bias® Social Fabric® Community. This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias® #CBias #SocialFabric As always, I am only sharing this with you because I thought it was funny and relevant to parental life. Especially pre-pubescent boy parental life. Bring on the stiffies.