I woke up this morning thinking that it was awfully light outside for 7:30.
See, I don’t use a traditional alarm clock. My alarm clocks are named Grady, Styles, & Madilyn. Styles uses an alarm clock and he gets me up at 7:30 if I’m not already awake thanks to Grady. I sniffed Grady’s neck for a few minutes and then climbed out of bed to check the time.
My neighbors take Styles to school and he is supposed to be at their house at 8:20.
I went to wake him up to get him moving, knowing full well that I would have to load all 3 kids into the car to take Styles to school.
I went outside to check the temp so that I could dress my children appropriately, while Styles made himself breakfast. He doesn’t like eggs, and Madilyn called dibs on the rest of the milk so he couldn’t have any cereal. Tyson Mini Chicken Sandwiches for breakfast? HECK! WHY NOT? He popped them into the microwave, peeled himself a banana, and even took pictures of the stuff so that I could tell you all about it. Easy peasy. This might not be such a bad morning after all.
Whoops, I thought too fast. While I was making Grady’s egg, Madilyn and Grady somehow demolished the entire house. Tupperware all over the kitchen floor, the playroom mess had vomited itself into the living room. Clothes all over Madilyn’s room.
HOW DO THEY DO THIS CRAP SO QUICKLY?
Babies eat breakfast. Madilyn wants my egg. Fine. Eat my egg, I’ll grab something else later.
OK, babies are dressed, Styles is done with his Tyson Mini Chicken Nuggets and could only eat 1/2 of his banana. Whatever. Go brush your teeth.
I really need to get myself dressed. This white tank top sans bra is not appropriate to take Styles in to school. I look at myself in the mirror and realize that my naturally curly hair is naturally lookin’ like Buckwheat’s fro right now so I run some lotion through it as I hear screams from the other side of the house: “GRADY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MOOOOOOOOOM! GRADY GOT WHAT HE WANTED!”
I immediately knew what that meant so I ran through the house and by our front window wearing all of nothing but my white tank top and a pair of aqua panties. Cute.
When I get to the bathroom, I see Grady happily splashing in a puddle of Madilyn’s pee. He had taken the little bowl out of her potty chair, full of urine, drank some, and dumped the rest on the floor. That I just mopped yesterday.
I stand there, speechless, which my kids know means I’m pissed.
Pun not intended.
I contemplate getting the camera to take a picture of Grady frolicking in pee then think better of it and run the bath. I put Grady in the bath with the water running and stopper unplugged so that warm water is just flowing into the bathtub without pooling. I undress him as he’s laughing and salvage his dry diaper before using his clothing to wipe the puddle of pee up off of the floor.
As I’m running around the house, half naked, trying to get this mess cleaned up, I realize that it is almost 10. Styles is an hour late for school.
I mop the floor again while Grady splashes in the bathtub, having a wonderful time. I wonder how he can possibly stand the taste of pee in his mouth.
As I’m finally soaping Grady up, Madilyn strolls in with a cereal bar wrapper full of crumbs and proceeds to dump it all over the floor. I scream her name and she leaves the bathroom, only to return a few seconds later with her mop so that she can clean the crumbs up off of the wet floor. She begins pushing the crumbs all over the bathroom and I tell her to leave.
Once Grady is dry and redressed, I proceed to clean the crumbs up and shuffle the children out the door so that I can get Styles to school.
School is 1.5 miles away and about .75 mile into our journey, it begins to rain. Hard.
Less than 3 months ago, this sort of morning would have resulted in a serious migraine. It would have crept up out of the anger in my chest, into my neck, and settled itself nicely into my left eye, temple, and neck. I would have driven my aching head to Chik-Fil-A and ordered a large Cookies & Cream milkshake then driven home without once taking my mouth off of the straw, and laid on the sofa all day, crying in pain.
I would have failed to change diapers, realized at 2pm that lunch had yet to be administered, and then sulked around staring into the fridge when dinner time rolled around.
There was no migraine today. There wasn’t even a headache today. Instead, there was a good 10 minute period where I went outside to breathe the fresh, cool, rainy air. I felt rejuvenated and willing to tackle the house and the children who constantly conspire to keep the place looking like a nursery school at 3pm.
I got lunch on the table at a reasonable hour, I put Madilyn to bed for her nap early, and I was able to change the sheets on my bed and fold some laundry.
Without Paleo, I would have been a worthless wreck today. Thankfully, I was able to take care of my children AND my house in the wake of a less-than-enviable start to my day.
Want to know where I get the Tyson Mini Chicken Sandwiches? Follow this link closely.
Disclosure: This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias. #CBias All crazy assertions that I have no more migraines, and all other opinions are my very own and were not influenced in any way.