I wrote about my experience with Poise Microliner as part of a sponsored post for Socialstars. #SAMInYourPants
Things happen when you get pregnant and have kids that just really shouldn’t happen. These things don’t just happen to old ladies or overweight gals. These things happen to anyone who has given birth the good ol’ fashioned way, and/or carried a large baby.
Some of these things include enormous stretch marks on your hips, saggy boobies, loose lips, the superhuman ability to pee yourself while laughing, jumping, running, coughing, dancing, and sneezing. I do not speak from experience.
OK, maybe I do speak from experience.
So yeah, I’m overweight now. I’m not shy about that fact. I’m not obese, but I have more than a few handfuls of fat to lose. Back when I started having to cross my legs mid-stride if I felt a sneeze coming on, I was 19 years old and in really good shape, but very pregnant. One day I was cooking and I felt something warm running down my leg. No way was I peeing myself?! Shut up. Can’t be. My water broke? OH my gosh. My water broke. I’m having a premature baby.
Once at the hospital, it was confirmed that I had, in fact, peed myself and my bag of water was still fully and very well intact. In my defense, Styles was pressing down on the nerve that sends the “HEY! We’ve got to pee now!” signal to the brain. I was informed that I needed to go to the restroom every two hours to relieve my bladder, lest I continue peeing on myself. They assured me that once I gave birth, this little problem would resolve itself.
What they failed to tell me was that it wouldn’t resolve itself overnight. Or ever. Quite frankly, they lied.
The day my first born son came screaming into the world, weighing in at 8lb 13oz, I put some comfortable, pink, silk pajamas on. Don’t hate, I had just turned 20 a few weeks before. Things shrink fast when you’re 20. I was standing there changing my new baby’s first meconium diaper when my sister started yelling, “SUMMER! YOU’RE PEEING ALL OVER THE FLOOR!” I looked down and sure enough, I was peeing all over the place. I started running to the bathroom, surfing on my own urine as I approached the door, and I sat down on the toilet just in time for the commode to catch the last 4 dribbles of pee. I just sat there in complete and utter shock. I thought this whole pee mess was supposed to be resolved?
Well, they lied. Because ever since then, I’ve been just a dribbling, light bladder leakage mess. My urethra cries every time I laugh too hard, cough too forcefully, jump on a trampoline, or go for a run.
If you’ve been following me on Instagram for any length of time, you might know that I started running last fall. I can do two of three things at one time: Breathe, stride, or not pee myself. Considering the fact that you have to breathe to survive, I generally choose breathing, so my runs end with soggy running pants. If I cough or sneeze during a run? Fugghettaboutit. I’m wet to my socks, even if I wear capri running pants. This completely limits my running wardrobe. If you see me running around town in black running pants, it’s because I’m having some light bladder leakage with each stride and I don’t want you to know about it. God help me this summer, I might smell a little bit when I’m done running.
I can’t even jump on a trampoline without having a little dribble with each jump anymore. My joy has been sapped. The things I once loved, I can no longer do without embarrassment. Even laughing! Laughing’s my favorite. Or coughing in the grocery store while wearing a dress? OH. MY. GOSH. Especially when I’m wearing a dress without undies. It’s happened. Actually, it happened last week in Harris Teeter when I was lookin’ all fly. There was no explaining away the droplets coursing down my leg as I coughed my way to the checkout counter.
This insanity has got to stop. I’m only 32 years young, I’m active, and by golly gosh, I just don’t want to be the only person in my house wearing diapers. I’m like 30 years too old for that. So what are my options?
Well, Poise has a seriously great little microliner that you can stick right into your undies where you might experience a little LBL. I’m not a big fan of undies in the first place, but I’m realizing that if I want to enjoy a dry-leg-lifestyle, I’m going to have to pull up my big girl panties. Literally and figuratively. The Poise microliner isn’t even detectable in my panties, and they are absorbent enough to catch those little dribbles so I don’t have to stop, cross my legs, and cough in the middle of the grocery store.
Y’all know what I’m talking about.
If you’d like to give them a try, head on over to Poise.com for your own free sample. You don’t even have to tell anyone you did it, the entire process is completely discreet. Although we all know that if you have kids, you probably also pee yourself with you laugh too hard, unless you’re just a urethral freak of nature.
Now I’ve got some new running essentials, including Poise Microliners. Because some things are just impossible to ignore.