This past week I had the esteemed privilege of going to Brandcation in Pigeon Forge, TN. It was my first blog event and I wasn’t quite sure exactly what to pack so I just packed my entire closet and everything with an electronic plug in my house.
I’d like for you to learn from my packing blunders so please read ahead for the #1 list on the internet on how to pack for a blog conference.
1. Find out that you are going to the blog conference 36 hours before it starts.
2. Get a preliminary list of things you will need to take with you. Be prepared for that list to include items like: Flannel shirt for Lumberjack dinner show and 80’s garb for a swinging 80’s party, complete with Flashing Blinky Lights.
3. Wake up at the buttcrack of dawn to your children who know something is amiss. Look in your closet with one toddler hanging from your left leg and one preschooler hanging from your right leg, and realize that everything hanging in your closet is either too big or too small.
4. Wash 6 loads of laundry in order to find enough to pack for a 4 day trip.
5. Fold 6 loads of laundry in order to find enough to pack for a 4 day trip, and to prevent your family from drowning in a sea of laundry while you are away.
6. Run to Target to find something to wear to the 80’s party as well as stuff to make your husband’s life easier while you are out of town. Haul exhausted children through the aisles. Try a skirt on while dancing in front of the door so that the toddler can’t escape. Sniff the air and realize toddler has a poopy diaper. Realize you are out of wipes.
7. Buy diapers, chicken nuggets, buffalo chicken wings, ice cream, an 80’s inspired skirt, and wipes. Forget earplugs – the one thing you really wanted to buy.
8. Change poopy diaper on the floor of your minivan before driving to Goodwill for a flannel shirt.
10. Find 4 flannel shirts while your daughter tries on ratty fluorescent wigs and used shoes.
11. Worry about head lice.
12. 6pm. You haven’t put a darned thing in your suitcase.
13. Fly home, feed your children pizza and chicken nuggets.
14. Throw the children into the bathtub with enough bubbles to scrub a blue whale in peak barnacle season.
15. Toss 5 pair of underwear into your suitcase: one pair for each day and a “just in case” pair.
16. Get on Facebook and tell all of the other attendees that you’re bringing 2 pairs of pants and 5 T-shirts.
17. Pay no attention to the itinerary, weather, or previous comments, and pack the following:
- 2 dresses
- 2 pair of jeans
- 1 pair of corduroys
- 1 pair of blue capris
- 6 T-shirts
- 5 tank tops
- 1 sweater
- 1 polar fleece vest
- 1 bathing suit
- 2 pair of socks
- 2 workout outfits
- 2 pair of pajamas
- 5 pair of shoes
- a hair dryer
- a hair straightener
- every single ounce of fingernail polish you own
- a brush
- a comb
- every piece of costume jewelry in your box
- shaving cream
18. Check in on your kids to make sure they haven’t been playing Cain & Abel in the bathtub
19. Put the youngest in bed and nurse him for the very last time EVER.
20. Breathe a sigh of relief when you walk out of the room and pat your tatas. You will soon have them all to yourself for the rest of time.
21. Tuck your daughter in to bed and realize you haven’t had a spray in the shower in 2 days.
22. Take a shower and realize that you’ve packed all of your toiletries after you’re already drenched.
23. Wash your hair with your husband’s shampoo, scrub with his soap, and shave your legs with his razor.
24. Go to bed surrounded by unpacked clothing and pray for a miracle.
25. Wake up at 630am to take your eldest child to school.
26. Get home with just enough time to straighten your hair while your husband packs the rest of your clothing and toiletries, makes breakfast for the babies, loads your baggage into the car, and balances a full cup of coffee on his head.
27. Hop in the car and drive down the road only to realize your GPS doesn’t know the address of your final destination.
28. Munch happily on the grain free goodies you packed, because you won’t be using them and dream of the dream cabin you will be staying at in the Smoky Mountains.
Disclaimer: I used 3 different pair of pants, 2 tank tops, 1 pair of pajamas, 1 pair of socks, 2 pair of shoes, 1 pair of earrings, 1 necklace, 2 -shirts, the polar fleece vest, and the sweater. I still believe in being more safe than sorry.