When I say “Styles” I’m not referring to the way I dress. I’m referring to my eldest son, Styles. The dude who made me a mom at the tender age of 20. I’m referring to the kid who never asked to be born but asks if he can tell me something or ask me a question, the answer to which is always “No. Yes, of course.”
We all have extraordinary children, right? We’re all a little partial to our own little creations. They all drive us bonkers and make our hearts explode with love. Some of us have a really special relationship with our children because of situations that we’ve been through with them, and that is how my relationship with Styles is. He’s so special, not because he’s exceedingly great at one thing, but because of the little things that come together to make him who he is.
I was way too young when I had him. I had no experience with babies and was dating a guy who didn’t have a steady job outside of selling thing that are illegal to sell to make money. He was strung out on drugs a lot of the time and wouldn’t come back to our apartment until the wee hours of the morning. I’m still to this day not sure what I saw in him or why I stayed. I was young and stupid. He was my rebound relationship from my first real relationship ending. He felt like a safe place, though anyone with eyes and a brain could tell that he was quite the opposite.
The most crazy thing about the whole deal is that I was on birth control. I found out I was pregnant in December and couldn’t believe it because I had been on birth control and took it at the same time every day. This little being forced his way into my uterus regardless of the fact that I was trying to force him out. I believe that he is going to move mountains.
We’ve experienced so many hardships together. We’ve moved around a lot. He’s been rejected by his own biological father and adopted by Kyle – a father who is strict with him, but that wants the best for him, wants him to live up to his own potential, and who loves him. Through it all, he remained kind, loving, and knew that his Mom, his best friend, loved him no matter what.
Styles has this unbelievable pattern of being slow to learn then exploding onto the scene. I guess you could say he knows how to make an entrance. My pregnancy with him was about as normal as pregnancy could get until I went into labor. I was in labor with him for 3 hours, 6 minutes from first contraction to birth. He never crawled but started walking at 10 months old. At the age of 18 months he knew his alphabet and could identify all of the main colors and shapes, he even had some cute names for them like “frankle” for a triangle. Though he could do and say those things, he didn’t converse at all. He could tell you his wants and needs like that he wanted a “frinka” (drink), but he couldn’t really talk to converse like normal 2 and 3 year olds do. I wasn’t worried about him, though my family thought I should have him tested for autism. Right about the time he turned 3 and a half, he woke up one morning and literally started speaking in sentences. It was the most insane thing I’ve ever witnessed. It was like, “OH HI! There you are!”
The most remarkable thing about Styles, to me, is his humility and love for people he doesn’t know. He has always been deeply empathetic towards homeless people. There have been numerous times where he has wept because he feels sorry for these people and he always wonders what their stories might be. He doesn’t judge, just wonders how they got there and how he can help. Styles was born with a large port wine stain on his face, otherwise known as a capillary hemangioma. I made the decision to not have it removed when he was very young, then as he grew older he decided he wanted to keep it as well. When he was 4, my little old soul told me that without it he wouldn’t be Styles anymore, and it’s just who he was. While his birthmark doesn’t define who he is, it is part of who he is and I believe helps keep him humble. When you have imperfections and realize what those imperfections are, it is easier to see others’ imperfections as the little things that make them who they are. Therefore, imperfections are what make us perfectly imperfect.
I’m excited to see who this little brain grows up to be and I can’t wait to meet his future significant other. I know they are going to remarkable too.
I created a special video for Styles at the Stanford Children’s Health site. You can view it HERE. Stanford Children’s Health and Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital Stanford has been the top-ranked children’s hospital in Northern California for over a decade and it’s clear to see why. A hospital that cares so much about children goes above and beyond to care for all of their needs. What other hospital do you know gives you a forum for creating a treasured video for your awesome child?
Your kid is extraordinary. Show them how much you enjoy every moment together by creating a special video of your own!
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.