Can a Dirty Girl be Fresh and Sexy?

Can a Dirty Girl be Fresh and Sexy?

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As part of my initiative to get The Workaholic home before 2am, my hatred of the daily shower, and a sponsored post for Collective Bias, I’m telling you how you can always be ready to give a standing-ovation-worthy performance for your lover that won’t leave them running to grab some air freshener.

Don’t get your panties in a twist just yet.

#shop #freshandsexy

You guys know how dirty I am. I am just clean enough to be socially acceptable and just dirty enough that my hair still looks good four days after the last time it was washed. I am the queen of the whore’s bath, and master of masking the musk. Perhaps you clean girls haven’t noticed that when you haven’t showered in a day or two (sometimes three), your man is crazy attracted to you. You haven’t slathered yourself with perfumes and scented lotions. You haven’t washed your own natural smell away with bubbly soaps, and you smell like a woman. Perhaps even a woman of the night. Rawr. Your natural musk has had time to seep out of your pores and your husband becomes excited every time you waft by him. That’s because your scent is sexy. Your pheromones are wild. And you don’t smell as badly as you think you do.

Let me tell you how I keep the puff clean without drowning myself in time management heckfire for the sake of a shower.

#shop

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: “I just don’t take the time to shower EVERY day.” Sometimes I miss a day here and there. Sometimes it’s TWO days *GASP!* Close your mouth and open your nose. You know you’ve been there. Unless you didn’t wipe well or have some dingleberries, you probably smell like a sexy beast to your husband and every other man you come into contact with.

Let’s just be honest. Once you’re past the whole newlysexed or newlywed stage, depending on what type of relationship you’re in, you probably throw caution to the hurricane winds and just do it whenever the need or want arises. I know once you have kids, sometimes it’s a matter of finding a few minutes to slip it in (see what I did there?), even if that means just before exploding out the door to get to a PTA meeting. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be smelling like I just left the bunny ranch when I’m hanging out with a bunch of stuffy moms, all of whom I’m sure have dirty little secrets of their own.

#shop #FreshNSexy

The Workaholic is most fired up when I get home from the gym. There’s something about being salt encrusted and stank that he goes gaga for. He’s pretty hungry ifyouknowwhaddimean and I’m always more than a little worried that when he gets to the buffet, he’s not gonna like the way what’s being served smells. He doesn’t want me to take a shower because he wants me all sweaty and salty, but you know, things aren’t exactly like a field of curly grass with a spring breeze blowing through it down below.

Or how about when you’re one of those nasty girls (calling myself out here) who don’t wear underwear but prefer to wear dresses? And you’re on vacation? And you just got done with some steamy vacation sex? And you don’t want special sauce running down your leg while you’re walking the boardwalk?

#shop fresh and sexy

What do you do in cases like these? 

You do what I do. You use Fresh and Sexy wipes by Playtex. You take one of those little puppies out, you wipe the puff off and out, and you get on with your day smelling as fresh as a daisy. Honestly. They take that musky after sex smell that screams, “YO! I JUST got done makin’ my man super happy!” and they mute it to a calm whisper.

#shop Fresh and sexy wipes, after sex wipes, vacation sex

No more sex and candy smell, people! It’s now like fresh and candy.

I smell Fresh and Can-dy. YyeeaaahhhhuuhhhhhhhMMmmmhhmmmmm.

Hey dudes, Fresh and Sexy wipes are for you too!

The Workaholic and I squeeze a quickie in just before he leaves for work sometimes. More often than not, it’s pants around the ankles with shoes still on kinda action, so he’s not exactly shower-ready but he doesn’t want every dog in a ten mile radius to come runnin’ either. These have been great for a quick polish of the knob and a lot less messy than a wet washrag.

 

When could you use Fresh + Sexy Wipes to help buff the undercarriage?  

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About Summer

*You can reach Summer at summer@dirtyfloordiaries.com.* Born in Orlando, FL and raised in Juneau, Alaska; Summer prefers being outdoors hiking, skiing, or just livin' over being inside doing anything. She has a weakness for cheap red wine and good conversation and can always be counted on for a laugh. You won't find perfection here, just a big ole' mess and a few laughs. Feeling frustrated with your life? Visit The Dirty Floor Diaries and you'll leave feeling just a smidge better - Guaranteed or your visit's free.

Comments

  1. Okay, I am officially giving up my Crazy name and giving it to YOU! You are wild! and I love you. ;)
    JanetGoingCrazy recently posted..How to Keep Your Secret Love Affair {with your husband} Fresh and SexyMy Profile

  2. I’m a dirty girl too! Loved this post so so much. So happy to hear that there are other ladies that share my views on hygeine, hatred of panties (and similar sense of humor!) Living in SW FL it’s difficult to keep the lady good fresh. I am def. going to try these. Love your blog woman!

  3. And I thought I was the rebel!!! I can’t even type without giggling. You got some cajones, girl. LOL
    Jenn @therebelchick recently posted..Check out the BISSELL PowerGlide Pet Vacuum with Lift-Off Technology!My Profile

  4. Amazing post – love your images and awesome humor. You totally rock!

    • Thanks, Mike! I’m so glad this post has received so much attention. I was a little worried people would run the other direction.

  5. Intern Susie says:

    Listen, I’m not a stranger to infrequent showers. You are hilarious and this product is awesome. Thanks for sharing.

  6. Sometimes there are no words.
    Amy recently posted..Share A Diet Pepsi With Josh DuhamelMy Profile

  7. OMG! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your “just on the verge” way of telling it like it is. Great post and great product! I love these things :) I’m a shower every other day or 2 and wash my hair every few days kind of girl too. It always seems like when it’s just about shower time the hubs comes a callin’ LOL. Silly Men LOL

  8. OMG YES!!! I couldn’t love this more! :)

  9. mindy scott says:

    Summer you rock I am so glad you put it out there like it is we know eveyone thinks this way but so many are scared to speak it That’s why I Love You! KEEP YOU THE FANTASTIC WORK!!

  10. OMG! I had a bad night last night and today hasn’t been much better. But after reading this, I’m laughing and trying to high five you through the screen. As a fellow Dirty Girl, I also salute you! First time at your blog but it won’t be my last. Love your style. Keep it up. And thanks for the laughs.
    Nicole Ireland recently posted..Subscription Box Reviews: Your Bijoux Box – September #reviewsMy Profile

    • Thanks, Nicole! I’m so sorry that you had. A bad day but I’m glad I was able to help make it a little better! :) SOOO glad to have you hear and hope to “see” you around more often. :D

  11. And now I need to take a shower.
    Thanks for that. LOL!
    Brandi recently posted..Smoothing WrinklesMy Profile

  12. So true, and so much more healthy for us as well. We are meant to smell like a woman, not fake flowers! Thank you for your frankness and once again, adding much-needed laughter to my day! ;)

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